How to Help Kids Control Their Emotions 4 Keys
Many fathers and mothers believe in a myth that, if applied to all aspects of parenting, can be very harmful to the little ones in the household. This belief holds the idea that boys and girls should limit their emotions by expressing themselves instinctively, without learning from them or striving for the consequences of regulating them in one way or another.
In fact, helping children learn to control their emotions is fundamental. Then we will see why this is so and how we can do our part so that they get used to living their emotional part to play in their favor.
Why is it good for children to control their emotions?
It is important to note that although the way we experience emotions in the first person is subjective, the consequences of expressing them in one way or another are objective. So much so that a good part of the process that turns us into adults is to master some basic emotional regulation skills that allow us to achieve long-term goals and live in society.
If we take into account that the only thing that matters is experiencing emotions, without further ado, we are feeding a philosophy of life, which looks at the emotional and affective aspect, of which we are somewhat passive subjects and of which we participate only as recipients. The ideal is that, in any case, it should be clear that one can and should consciously influence the psychological processes associated with feelings and affection … and this skill should be taught from childhood.
How to teach emotional self-control to boys and girls
Therefore, next we will review several tips aimed at helping children to control their emotions in accordance with their goals and interests, rather than becoming the recipients of emotional states.
However, we must keep in mind that very young children, who are 7 years of age or less, will face difficulties when thinking about certain nuances because of emotions. For example, they will understand what “fear” means, but they will have a hard time understanding that fear is not being able to do something. Therefore, parents, mothers, and guardians must adapt to the degree of abstraction in which the child is able to think.
1. Educate on positive prediction
Positive prediction is the mental ability that allows us to make predictions about our emotional state in the future. Focusing on this ability makes it easier for little ones to learn why learning to manage emotions is useful and good because it favors the habit. Compare expectations, on the one hand, and reality, on the other.
A proposed activity, for example, might be by asking the child to think about how he or she thinks he would feel if he were to talk to a boy or girl he would like to befriend and ask her. Once he has visited that other person, think about how you feel and compare your emotional state with the person you predicted. In these cases, it is very often that a degree of fear and stress is predicted that is much greater than what is then experienced.
2. Teach him to postpone gratification
The ability to postpone gratification is of paramount importance, as it allows one to choose long-term goals that require relinquishing others in the short term, but that offer enormous benefits.
Take on challenges based on putting in a time during which you have to reward yourself for reaching a more important goal.
For this, it is important to note that the younger you are, the more difficult it is to postpone the rewards; The idea is not to overdo it in the minimum amount of time during which you will have to work with it, as this will make the task look somewhat unrealistic.
For example, if it is estimated that there are some math activities at home that will take half an hour of work, you can break that half-hour into 10- or 15-minute segments, with a few minutes left at the end. or vacation.
3. Don’t make your tantrums
It is very important. Some fathers and mothers, without realizing it, compensate for having a tantrum, since these conditions cause restlessness and restlessness, and give what you want, the simplest way to remedy the problem immediately. Is. However, society does not work that way.
On the one hand, the family is the only group of people who have the duty and responsibility to spend time with a future adult, so the rest have no reason to consider giving in to that blackmail, and on the other, ride in. Anger does not favor that the person learns to solve things, but on the contrary.
Thus, one of the best ways to help young children, or to help children take care of themselves, learn to control their emotions, is simply the reward for expressing their angry feelings in very extreme ways. Do not give and anger.
4. Build Together Explanations About Failures
Controlling emotions always takes a certain amount of effort to be able to aspire to long-term goals or that has to participate in social circles. Frustration can cause children to embrace the idea that it is useless to regulate emotions in order to achieve long-term goals, and that the resignations made along the way are not worthwhile.
Therefore, it is good that in situations that can lead to frustration, older children help children to understand what has happened, and to see where, at first, the efforts seemed to have been in vain, What has happened has a higher probability of success, although it may not be obvious.